How to Keep a Secret From Your Best Friend

Friendships are built on trust, and one of the fundamental aspects of trust is confiding in each other. However, there may be times when you need to keep a secret from your best friend. 

This could be due to various reasons such as wanting to protect them, respecting someone else's privacy, or simply keeping a personal matter to yourself. 


While keeping a secret from your best friend can be challenging, it is possible to navigate this delicate situation while still maintaining a strong and healthy friendship.

Why keeping secrets can be challenging

Keeping a secret from your best friend can be difficult because of the deep trust and openness shared between you. 

It may feel like you are betraying their trust or hiding something from them, which can create guilt or anxiety.

Additionally, friendships thrive on open and honest communication, so withholding information can disrupt the natural flow of the relationship. 

However, there are instances when keeping a secret may be necessary, and it's important to approach this situation with care and consideration.

Assessing the need for secrecy

Before keeping a secret from your best friend, it's crucial to assess the need for secrecy. Ask yourself why you feel the need to withhold information and whether it aligns with your values and your friendship's overall well-being. 

Is the secret something your friend explicitly asked you not to share? Does it involve a sensitive or personal matter that could harm your friends if they found out?

Understanding the reasons behind your decision will help you navigate the situation with integrity and transparency.

Related: What to do when Your Best Friend Tells Your Secret

Strategies for keeping a secret from your best friend

When it comes to keeping a secret from your best friend, there are several strategies you can employ to ensure a smooth and respectful process.

  1. Think about why you want to keep the secret: Is it something that would hurt your friends if they knew? Is it something that could get you into trouble? Once you understand why you want to keep the secret, it will be easier to resist the temptation to tell.
  2. Don't tell anyone else: This includes your friends, family, and even your therapist. The more people who know the secret, the more likely it is to get out.
  3. Don't write it down: If you write the secret down, someone else could find it. Even if you think you're being careful, it's wise to avoid writing it down at all.
  4. Be Cautious with Sharing Details: Refrain from discussing the secret with others, even if they are mutual friends. People may slip up unknowingly and reveal information to your best friend without malicious intent.
  5. Consider Honesty: If the secret could significantly impact your best friend or your relationship, think about whether keeping it from them is the right course of action. Being open and honest with your best friend can strengthen the bond and foster trust.

Setting boundaries and managing expectations

To keep a secret from your best friend, it's essential to establish clear boundaries. Let them know what information is off-limits and what topics should not be discussed. 

This will prevent accidental slips or uncomfortable situations where the secret is unintentionally revealed. Additionally, be mindful of your own behavior and avoid suspicious or evasive actions that may raise suspicions. 

By setting boundaries and managing expectations, you can maintain trust and respect in your friendship.

Dealing with potential guilt or moral dilemmas

The act of keeping a secret from your best friend can sometimes lead to feelings of guilt or moral dilemmas. 

It's imperative to acknowledge and address these emotions in a healthy way. Reflect on your intentions and reasons.

If you genuinely believe that keeping the secret is in the highest interest of your friend or someone else involved, remind yourself of this. 

However, if guilt becomes overwhelming or you find that the secret causes more harm than advantage, it may be worth reevaluating your decision and considering alternative approaches.

The potential consequences of keeping secrets

Keeping a secret from your best friend may seem like a good idea in certain situations, but it has potential consequences. 

Secrets have a way of surfacing eventually, and if your friend found out, it could damage the trust and foundation of your friendship.

Consider the impact the secret may have on your friend and the relationship as a whole.

Sometimes, the potential fallout of keeping a secret may outweigh the reasons for secrecy, and open communication might be the better option.

Seeking outside support or advice

If you struggle with the decision to keep a secret from your best friend, it can be helpful to seek outside support or advice. Talk to a trusted confidant or a professional counselor who can provide an objective perspective. 

They can help you navigate the complexities of the situation. They can offer guidance on how to handle the secret while preserving your friendship's integrity.

Sometimes, an outside viewpoint can shed light on alternative solutions you may not have considered.

Also, Read This: 8 Things You Should Never Tell Anyone If You Want To Succeed In Life

The benefits of open communication and honesty

While there may be instances when keeping a secret is necessary, it is essential to remember the importance of open communication and honesty in a friendship. 

Nurture a culture of trust and transparency where you and your best friend can freely share your thoughts and feelings. 

Encourage open dialogue and create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable expressing yourselves. This will strengthen your bond and prevent secrecy in the future.

Conclusion: Nurturing a healthy and honest friendship

In conclusion, keeping a secret from your best friend can be challenging. 

However, it is possible to navigate this situation while maintaining a healthy and honest friendship. Assess the need for secrecy, set boundaries, and manage expectations to ensure a respectful process. 

It is possible to maintain your friendship's trust and foundation while keeping a personal matter confidential by approaching the issue with care and consideration.


  1. Is it okay to keep secrets from my best friend?

    It depends on the secret. If the secret is about something that could hurt your friend or someone else, then it's probably not okay to keep it. But if the secret is something personal that you don't want to share, then it's perfectly fine to keep it to yourself.

  2. How do I know if I can trust my best friend with a secret?

    There are a few things you can look for to see if your best friend can be trusted with a secret. Do they have a history of keeping secrets? Are they trustworthy in other areas of your friendship? Do you feel comfortable talking to them about anything? If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you can probably trust your best friend with a secret.

  3. What if I'm tempted to tell my best friend a secret?

    If you're tempted to tell your best friend a secret, try to think about the consequences. Could telling the secret hurt your friend or someone else? Could it damage your friendship? If the answer is yes, then it's probably best to keep the secret to yourself.

  4. How do I avoid talking about the secret?

    If you're trying to keep a secret from your best friend, it's important to avoid talking about it. This means avoiding topics that could remind you of the secret, and avoiding asking your friend questions that could lead them to guess what the secret is.

  5. What if my best friend asks me if I'm keeping a secret?

    If your best friend asks you if you're keeping a secret, you don't have to lie to them. You can simply say that you're not comfortable talking about it. If they press you, you can explain that you're keeping the secret for a reason and that you don't want to talk about it.

  6. How do I deal with the guilt of keeping a secret?

    If you're feeling guilty about keeping a secret, it's important to talk to someone about it. This could be a therapist, a trusted friend, or even your best friend. Talking about your feelings can help you to process them and to feel better about keeping the secret.

  7. What if I can't keep the secret anymore?

    If you find that you can't keep the secret anymore, then you need to be honest with your best friend. Explain why you can't keep the secret and apologize for not telling them sooner. It's important to be honest with your friend, even if it means hurting their feelings.

  8. How do I tell my best friend that I've been keeping a secret from them?

    If you've decided to tell your best friend that you've been keeping a secret, it's important to do it in a private setting. Explain why you kept the secret and apologize for not telling them sooner. Be prepared for your friend to be upset, but be honest with them and answer any questions they have.

  9. What if my best friend doesn't forgive me for keeping a secret?

    If your best friend doesn't forgive you for keeping a secret, it's important to give them time. They may need some time to process their feelings and to decide if they can forgive you. In the meantime, you can try to show them that you're sorry and that you're committed to being honest with them in the future.